Preparation is the key to public speaking

My boyfriend has suddenly started hiding facts from me. According to him, I need not be interfering. This change of behaviour is hurting me a lot. What to do?

Ritu, New Delhi

Maybe you can try and do the same. Portray as if you have secrets to keep and things to hide from him. Arouse his curiosity; let him be in your shoes to probably understand you. If you feel he is cold, not responsive, then maybe, you should consider the status of your relationship. Transparency, honesty and absolute faith are ingredients that make a relationship. Sometimes just let go to get it all. Else leave it to live happy. Good luck dear.

I broke up with my lover and now I want him back, but he acts happy without me!

Satyami, Noida

This is a lesson, this is an opportunity for you to grow up and act like a mature woman. Break ups and heartaches are a part of life. Don't get affected and please don't be upset because he is happy without you. Everyone has the right to happiness and may be, life without you is his choice. Act like a good soul and move on with a positive frame of mind. Nothing stops without anything or anyone. Your break up must have been a mutual decision and you should not sit and brood over the past. Listen to good music, watch good films, make new friends. If he is meant to come back, he will. If not, destiny has better plans. Cheer up girl.

I have caught my son stealing money from the bag. He is in class 9. This has really hurt me. How to handle this?

Mrs Saha, Kolkata

I think most have done this at least once in life. This is some kind of a thrill for kids. If it's not a big amount then don't over react now. Keep a watch on his spending habits and friends he moves around with. If it happens again then sit with him and talk with patience. Remember, he is a teenager and it needs to be handled with love and care. Don't lose your heart and handle him well. Don't panic much and try to be his best buddy. I'm sure this will be fine soon.

I want to be a good public speaker. But I feel very nervous when I have to talk in front of unknown people. Please guide.

Dilip Singh, New Delhi

If you are afraid to speak in public, don't feel bad, you are not alone. Over 40% of the adult population is. In fact, fear of speaking in public is one of the highest ranked fear that all people have. Don't panic. If you take some time to plan it out, you'll do ok. Preparation is the key. If you know what you are talking about, you won't feel as nervous or flustered. Try to anticipate what questions others may have and be ready with an answer. Once you've done this, practice out loud somewhere by yourself if possible at first, then in front of a friend or coworker later if it's important. Try to relax, and breathe deeply. Don't say anything about being nervous to your audience. You may do better than you expect. Try not to speak too fast, semi slow and clear is the way to go. Keep things simple and to the point. Public speaking is a valuable tool you can learn and use throughout your life. The more you practice it and gain confidence the better you will get. Good luck!

(Send your questions to

roopshashotm@gmail.com)