Millennium Post


It is very important to identify your troubles – but don’t waste time and thought dwelling on them


Our only daughter was brilliant till her 12th but her grades are deteriorating since last year. She is more focussed on campus politics. We are from a lower middle class background and deeply worried.

Mr. B Banerjee, Kolkata

I suggest you give her some space and don't jump to immediate conclusions. As parents, do advice but don't push too much. Grades matter but more importantly, doing what you really want to do matters the most. Politics is definitely a passion she is pursuing. Keep reminding her of what your expectations are but don't be nagging. Support and make her believe that you have confidence on her and support her decisions. I'm sure everything is not as bad as you are imagining. Give time and have faith on your child.

I have been desperately failing to balance work and home. Can you suggest some tips that I can implement.

David Gomes, New Delhi

I appreciate your concern. We all are trying to keep pace with time and giving our best to balance both. Here are few tips that I hope are useful for you.

Understand the importance of drawing a line between work and home.

Make sure that you don't use the master bedroom for your home office. The master bedroom should be off limits to computers and televisions, if possible!

When you first arrive home from work, give your spouse a big hug. Then spend some time talking together about how the day went. Don't do anything else till you do this.

Don't use your work schedule as an excuse to opt out on doing your share of the household chores.

Try to do one thing at a time.

Turn off your landline phone, cell phone, and other electronic devices that could interrupt you from spending time with your spouse and children.

I often feel very depressed. I am afraid that slowly I might become a patient of depression. I'm 36, male and single.

R.K, Kolkata

If you feel depressed, it's best to do something about it – depression doesn't just go away on its own. In addition to getting help from a doctor or therapist, here are five things you can do to feel better:

Exercise. Take a 15 to 30-minute brisk walk every day or dance, jog, or bike if you prefer. Make yourself do it anyway. Once you get in the habit, it won't take long to notice a difference in your mood.

Nurture yourself with good nutrition. Depression can affect appetite. You may not feel like eating at all or you may overeat. Proper nutrition can influence a person's mood and energy. Eat plenty of fruits and vegetables and get regular meals.

Identify troubles, but don't dwell on them. Try to identify situations that have contributed to your depression. When you know what's got you feeling blue and why, talk about it with a friend. Talking is a way to release the feelings and receive some understanding. Feeling connected to friends and family can help relieve depression.

Express yourself. With depression, a person's creativity and sense of fun may seem blocked. Exercise your imagination and do something you like. You not only get those creative juices flowing, you also loosen up some positive emotions.

Look on the bright side. Depression affects a person's thoughts, making everything seem dismal, negative and hopeless. If depression has you noticing only the negative, make an effort to notice the good things in life. Try to notice one thing, then try to think of one more. Consider your strengths, gifts, or blessings. Most of all, don't forget to be patient with yourself. Depression takes time to heal but you can fix it before it breaks you. All the best. Please take care.

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