Millennium Post

Love at first ‘site’

Love at first ‘site’
My boyfriend is getting very suspicious. He tends to get too jealous whenever he sees me with a guy. What should I do?
Renu, Lucknow
Jealousy isn’t always a sign of weakness or insecurity. It could also be an expression of love but jealousy in a relationship isn’t always easy to handle. Jealousy crops up in many ways, but in essence, it’s a sign of insecurity and the fear of losing the one you love. You may get jealous of your partner for several reasons. While jealousy due to misunderstanding is acceptable, irrational jealousy isn’t. Learn to trust your partner and don’t doubt them unnecessarily. Regain your confidence and remember that they do love you, and your lover is not going to stop loving you by just talking to someone attractive. Let there be no secrecy and if something bothers you, tell your partner in a clear and pleasant manner that you did not like or appreciate their behaviour. The problem with dealing with jealousy in a relationship is that most people forget to put themselves into their partner’s shoes.
I’m think I’m falling in love with a girl I met online. She’s beautiful and says she is in love with me too. We are together since the last three years but she doesn’t want to meet me. What could be the reason?
Vikaas, New Delhi
Do you have a clear picture as to why she is avoiding the meeting? What’s her reason? I do not know whether or not you guys have a long distance relationship and hence would not like to jump into any conclusion directly. If you claim three years of “affair”, then it is indeed high time to meet. Every affair needs proximity and touch. Would request you to set a date in your mind and plan a meeting to discuss the future. Illusion is sometimes as strong as love itself. Handle your emotions with care and face it. If she is serious about you, she will face all odds to be with you. Good luck!

My brother is studying in Bangalore. From the last couple of months, we feel his behaviour has changed towards us. He is rude, absent minded and gets low grades too. We are worried.What can be done?
Brijesh, Nagpur
Either go and visit him or bring him home to have a very transparent communication. The behavioural pattern that he is exhibiting definitely requires immediate attention. It surely could be some unsaid stress, untold fear that he is keeping deep within. This has to come into light and solved from the root. Be friendly, over attentive, caring and let him speak. Do not lose your cool at any cost and don’t try to control him too much. If there is any resistance, do seek professional help. Don’t delay, start the process now.

I can’t trust anyone. I feel everyone is selfish and there for a reason. Is this abnormal?

Please guide!
Savita, New Delhi
At first, I request you to have confidence in yourself. If you have a positive inner self, nobody can scar it. It is indeed a fact that in present times, there seems to be a difference between the face and the mask. People do have hidden agendas which may conflict with your expectation. The best way to be a happier individual is to have less emotional involvement. Give every association the time it requires before you give in or open up completely. Selfish people do exist but alongside exists the good souls as well. Life will bring both. Wish you the luck to differentiate between the two. Don’t panic and just be yourself!

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