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‘Don’t let anyone take your niceness for granted'

‘Don’t let anyone  take your niceness for granted
My wife and I have no understanding. We are always fighting. I feel I should file divorce but I'm not sure whether it's the best thing to do. When does one know that its 'time to move on'?
Name withheld, Noida
The time when your mind and heart both believe it, when you have crossed the threshold of tolerance. When the happy moments are far lesser compared to the tears and pain accumulated. But, do go for counseling with your wife and give an honest effort to fix the marriage before you file divorce.

My mother is having an affair with one of her colleagues. My father lives out of country. I'm very upset. What should I do?
Saritha, Jaipur
I can try and understand your feelings. But Saritha, life is never the way we plan it, it has its own plans. I suggest, you get busy with your world; there's not much you can do by getting into this situation. If there's something too unbearable, confront your mother and have a straight forward conversation. Being transparent usually helps.

My grandmom lives with us. She's very partial towards my sister as she is fair and pretty. I'm dark with no looks perhaps. How do I handle this?
Tani, Agartala
Don't lose your heart at all. If I were you, I would have gracefully avoided the partial grandmom. We are beautiful if we have a good nature. Beauty, colour, looks are all temporary factors that never determine the value of the person. Always know - 'you are beautiful, you are the best'.

My husband beats me up and rapes me every night. I'm very scared. I have a 7 year old boy. How do I live with this?

Mrs. Singh, New Delhi
Please threaten him with legal consequences the next time he tries being unfair to you! Always keep the number of your local police handy and don't hesitate to fight it out. This isn't love, this isn't marriage! He probably has taken your niceness for granted. Don't keep shut and keep tolerating forever.

I'm 34, single. I have had 3 failed relations. Parents insist I settle with an arranged marriage. I'm confused. I never can imagine getting married to an unknown person.
Rajiv, Mumbai.
Well, I suggest you go for a marriage where you select the prospect, spend quality time knowing and discovering each other and then tie the knot. 'Arranged' doesn't mean someone else selects for you and you don't have any say. 


Have a love or life query you cannot find an answer to? Send your questions to -roopshashotm@gmail.com

Roopsha Dasguupta

Roopsha Dasguupta

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